“Imperfections are not inadequacies, they are reminders that we’re all in this together.” ~ Brene Brown
Research shows time and time again that the relationship a child has with their parent(s) profoundly impacts the child — for the rest of that child’s life.
This is why I work directly with parents — because when children can receive the help they need from their parents, not only can relief can come more quickly, but the relationship between parent and child improves.
If your child is constantly in trouble, feels misunderstood, or if there is constant fighting or correction; or if your child feels unsuccessful, frustrated, disengaged, or anxious for extended periods of time, finding the root cause and addressing it (i.e., helping them) can ease suffering tremendously and lead to many positive benefits for the child and the overall health of the family.
When parents are able to help children with their struggles, it is empowering (and often healing) for parents and stress relieving for children. It deepens connections, increases trust, increases feelings of safety, establishes healthier patterns, and increases joy — all of which improve overall health and functioning.
And, when parents have the tools to address issues in the moment — instead of having to wait for a scheduled therapy appointment (and then try and remember past events) — relief and positive change can occur right then. Children receive help from the people they truly need it from, those they love the most, trust the most, and who impact them the most. This makes it not only the most timely, but also the most effective, satisfying, and beneficial.
A third major benefit to parents helping their children with struggles is the positive impact this has on family relationships and the overall family system. When parents are able to successfully help their children, their stress levels go down, and they report feeling more empowered, more confident, more patient, and more compassionate. Children feel safer and more connected, and “problem” behaviors (i.e., symptoms) naturally become much less. From this, family interactions become less volatile, more loving, and more trustworthy.
When I think back on my days of working directly with children as a therapist, besides feeling warm and fuzzy because I love children and love working with them, I feel stressed and overwhelmed, actually. When I think of the work I currently do with parents, I feel excited and confident. This is because in the former, it took a very long time to see movement and positive change. In the latter, it happens almost right away. In fact, I tell parents, while it does take time to create new patterns that will lead to lasting change, things should begin to get better right away.
I believe there is a place for therapy for children, especially if they have experienced trauma. Play therapy can be especially helpful for toddlers and young children who need help processing traumatic experiences. I also think therapy that involves both the parent and the child can be helpful, in some cases. This said, for behavioral problems, child anxiety, parent overwhelm and frustration, and things like these, children need help from their parents, and they need much more than just a safe place to go an hour or two a week. They often need certain or different things from their parents. It is incredibly exciting to me to help parents learn what these things can be and give them to their child. It is super meaningful for me to help parents help their children and hear about the relief it brings kids and see how much relief it brings parents.
(I love my job!)
In my work with parents, we look at these things:
The temperament and personality of your unique child
Parenting techniques that will work best with your child, given his/her unique personality and temperament
Parent personality and temperaments + parenting tools that could be easiest for you
Parent backgrounds and how these may be impacting parent default modes
The situation and dynamics in your home
Larger systems that impact your child, like school, daycare, healthcare, and extended family dynamics
Your specific goals, immediate needs, and how we can most quickly help you meet these
My work is rooted in gentle, clear, and compassionate approaches that are supportive to children AND parents.
I use positive, strengths-based approaches, which aid the goal of all people being seen, valued, and heard. I help with the development of healthy communication and healthy self esteem. I help you learn to set limits and address problems without using shame-based tactics.
When we work together, you’ll leave our sessions with:
Tools you can use right away
Non-violent, non-shaming communication techniques
Organized, customized, and individualized plans for true mental and emotional health
If you’re looking for help with your child’s development and the health of your family, let’s have a conversation — I’m here for you.
Development happens according to experience, and the longer any of us remain in states of unhappiness or struggle, the more ingrained these states and patterns become.